Loneliness

Loneliness

When you're not feeling like yourself.
When you feel deeply alone and misunderstood by the entire world.

If you feel lonely today, it's because you've abandoned yourself.
But you can come back to yourself—I promise.
I was there too, and it's possible.

Activity 1 - Identifying Your Perception of Loneliness

Objective: Reconnecting with how loneliness resonates within you.

Journal prompt: Take 5 minutes to write about what solitude evokes for you.

How does this manifest within you? In what situations? What are 3 words you would use to describe it? What would be its shape and color? If it had a name, what would its name be? What song represents the feeling of loneliness for you?

Using a creative way (drawing, dancing, painting, singing…), I invite you to represent and express your vision of loneliness. Don’t intellectualize this, just let your body and your intuition be your guide. You don’t even have to reflect on the meaning of it—just let it be.

Even though we often fear loneliness, it is a feeling that constantly resides within some of us.

1. Do you feel alone even when surrounded by others?

2. Do you feel misunderstood by those close to you? In what ways?

I was afraid of being alone and at the same time felt constantly lonely, even when I was surrounded. It was as if I was an alien. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. I remember being surrounded by my group of friends but not feeling like I belonged there at all. My body was there with them, but in its empty form.

I was inhabited by a deep inner void.

I simply couldn’t find my place, which made me feel incredibly lonely. I just felt out of place. I listened to their conversations, watched them, and found myself ridiculous in every of my interactions.

I felt that no one could understand me. In a way, it made sense because I couldn’t even understand myself. I kept asking myself, "What’s wrong with you? Why can't you just be like them?". So, I tried playing a role, being someone I wasn’t, in order to fit in. And guess what? That only intensified my sense of loneliness.

Activity 2 - Exploration of a Past Experience

Objective: Identify what triggers the feeling of loneliness within you and how you react to it.

Writing prompt: Think of a time when you felt alone, even though you weren’t. Describe the situation. Who were you with? What were you doing? How did you feel? How did you act? What triggered this feeling within you? What did you need? Write down everything that comes to mind.

Abandonment creates a void that mirrors the love and validation we lacked as children.

A child who has been abandoned grows up believing they were not good enough, not worthy of love. They come to perceive that, in order to be loved and accepted, they cannot be their true selves. As a result, they disconnect from their true nature. They abandon themselves in order to seek validation and approval from others. This is how loneliness takes root within them.

If you constantly feel alone today, it means you have abandoned yourself.

You are now experiencing a deep emptiness inside, which manifests as a feeling of loneliness. You also feel misunderstood by the world around you because you don’t even understand yourself.

When we abandon ourselves, we become strangers to ourselves. We no longer know who we are, what we aspire to, or what’s important to us. We then try to distract ourselves, surround ourselves with others to fill the void inside. We also seek inspiration from those around us in an effort to forge our own identity—while this can be a natural process in childhood, I’m referring here to the urge to be and look like others. We compare ourselves to others and always think we're not as good as they are. So in order to fit in with the group to which we belong, we try to become another person by trying to be like them, like the “nice” person in the group. But this is an endless quest. 

This refers to the fundamental needs of the inner child, who needed love, validation and listening, as well as those of the inner teen, mainly centered on the need of belonging. When these needs weren’t met, they manifest in our adult lives and take up significant space. They become a priority, making it difficult to accept ourselves and our differences. Unconsciously, difference becomes associated with exclusion, loneliness and misunderstanding.

At the end of the day, that’s why we are willing to do anything to be loved and accepted, even if it means forgetting ourselves. However, the role you’re playing to protect yourself  only intensifies your sense of discomfort and loneliness because 

You can’t pretend to be someone you are not. 

I understand how trying to find yourself by identifying with your surroundings might seem like the best solution. However, only by discovering and accepting who you are can you return to yourself and meet the needs of your inner child and teen.

The truth is that, because you are a stranger to yourself today, you are scared of your own being. That’s why it seems so frightening, and you don’t know how to meet your needs. This feeling is entirely valid, but today, it’s time to get to know yourself. This is the journey toward your true self, your authenticity. Rediscovering yourself requires courage because it means embracing your uniqueness, even at the risk of no longer pleasing others. But do you think they genuinely liked you if you were not yourself?

The one thing you can’t give up on is yourself and your authenticity.

Today, my relationship with loneliness has shifted. I’ve realized that being “different” isn’t a problem—as long as I stay true to myself. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy, but I’ve decided to live for myself, to stop hiding behind an appearance that doesn’t reflect who I am, and to express my inner truth.

I won’t lie—this is what I’m trying to do day by day, but there are still moments when I feel intimidated and just want to escape. And that’s perfectly okay. We’re not here to be perfect. We’re here to learn, grow, and evolve at our own pace.

So when I don’t feel in my place, I’m now able to bring awareness to it, to take a step back, understand why I’m feeling that way, and give myself love and compassion. This process is already a victory—because this is part of the self-discovery journey.

There are also moments when those around me don’t understand me, when they think I’m too much of this or not enough of that. Sometimes it’s draining and exhausting—I feel misunderstood and judged. I question myself and find myself once again trying to justify myself to them.

But in those situations, I’ve learned that the best thing to do is to step back, take a moment of distance, and reconnect with myself. This way, I gain more clarity about the situation, detach from the judgment I may also feel toward them, and understand that their opinions and judgments are theirs to own—they do not define my worth in any way.

Never justify yourself for being who you are. I know how important it can seem to be accepted, validated, and understood by those around you. I understand the discomfort of feeling different but you can’t please everyone, especially those who live in judgment and make no effort to understand your perspective.

Embracing your authenticity is a profound act of self-love.

You can no longer abandon yourself to seek the approval of others. If you act this way, loneliness will never leave you. The people who truly love you will love you for who you are. As for the others, they no longer belong in your life and don’t deserve your energy.

Be yourself—be what makes you vibrate, what makes you so unique and special—and you’ll find you’re never alone again. Why? Because you’ll become your own best friend. And how can you feel lonely when you’re living with your best friend?

Activity 3 - Reconnecting with your uniqueness

Objective: Shifting your perception of differences—from something scary to something that can actually bring you closer to what you’re searching for.

Writing prompt: Take a moment to reflect on your differences and answer the following questions as honestly as possible:

1. In what ways do you feel different?

2. What don’t you like about feeling different? What do you appreciate about it?

3. Do you feel fulfilled when pretending to be someone you’re not? In what ways do you not?

4. What scares you about fully embracing your uniqueness?

   a) Being rejected f) Feeling ashamed

   b) Being judged g) Not being accepted or validated

   c) Disappointing others. h) Feeling separate or apart from others

   d) Being dismissed. i) Other (please specify): __________

   e) Losing people around you

5. Now, close your eyes and visualize yourself fully embodying your uniqueness.
   How do you see yourself? What does it feel?

6. Identify three positive things or feelings that embracing your uniqueness could bring into your life.

7. How might embodying your uniqueness help you nurture more authentic, vibrant relationships?

I learned, step by step, to discover myself and express my authenticity. At first, it was very uncomfortable because it was outside my comfort zone, and it was scary. I was terrified of being rejected, of standing out. But I was so tired of trying to be someone else that I simply chose myself. Today, my authenticity is my greatest strength. I’ve embraced my differences—and in doing so, I no longer feel different.

And that’s exactly the point. In our society, differences are often mistaken for separation, but there’s a clear distinction between the two. Our differences actually reflect our uniqueness, and therefore, our authenticity—whereas the idea of separation is closely tied to a feeling of disconnection from ourselves and from others, which creates that sense of loneliness.

You can still be unique while feeling connected to the world around you. In fact, we are all unique and connected to each other. Unfortunately, too many people today are afraid of their own differences and, as a result, are unable to accept those of others. This is sad, because it’s precisely what creates the illusion of separation.

Society has planted in our minds the idea that things have to be a certain way, so we exhaust ourselves trying to meet the world’s expectations. But at the end of the day—who even defined those expectations? You have nothing to meet, except yourself.

To feel connected to others and no longer alone, the solution isn’t to become who others expect you to be. The true solution lies in deciding to step out of your comfort zone in order to finally meet yourself and your truth—no matter what people think.

You’ll discover that your authenticity brings the sense of belonging you’ve always been seeking. It will connect you to a feeling of unity: that even though we each express ourselves differently, we are not separate from one another. Our uniqueness brings us closer, because we all contribute to the balance of our community.

The universe gave each of us a unique expression that we are meant to bring to light—for our own prosperity, and for the world’s. We are like the organs of a human body: each one playing a different role, but working together for the well-being of the whole.

Being authentic means serving yourself—and serving others.

By being authentic, you increase your chances of meeting people who are also authentic, and you’ll see that with them, the notion of difference disappears—even though each of you has your own unique way of expressing yourselves. I’ve also realized that I can no longer settle for superficial and shallow relationships. I’ve removed these kinds of connections from my life. I now choose to surround myself with people with whom I can form sincere, authentic, and deep bonds. My relationship with others has completely transformed, but it all happened naturally once I decided to embody my true nature.

One of the most powerful methods that helped me reconnect with myself and truly get to know who I am was connecting with my highest self.
This is essentially the best version of you—the embodiment of your authenticity, holding all the values you wish to bring into your life. It’s the version of yourself that always shows you the right path. When you act in alignment with your highest self, you can’t go wrong, because it’s a part of you—and its truth is nothing other than your own.

Reconnecting with my highest self and discovering this version of me helped me answer so many questions I had about who I was, what I wanted, and what truly mattered to me.
Today, it’s my greatest ally—my ultimate guide. I turn to this version of myself in every moment of doubt, in every difficult time. It helps me live more authentically. I’ve learned to love myself by reconnecting with that part of me.

That’s why I’d like to guide you through a practice of reconnecting to your own highest self, so that you can feel you’ve never been alone—and that you are already enough just as you are.

Activity 3 – Reconnecting with Your Highest Self

Objective: Reconnect with your authenticity.

Recommendation: Take the time to fully feel each step before moving on to the next. You can answer the following questions in your journal or out loud, depending on your preference.
Get comfortable in a space where you won’t be disturbed. Ground yourself, and take some deep breaths before starting. Try to stay present and rooted in your sensations without being distracted by mental noise. This doesn’t need to be perfect—just do your best!

• Close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel truly good. This can be a real or imaginary place.

• Visualize yourself in that place and feel its energy.

• What are you feeling?

• Take a moment to welcome whatever sensations arise.

• Now, invite your highest self into this space. To do that, imagine your ideal self—the person you would love to become.

• Spend at least 30 seconds visualizing them.

• What do they look like?

• What are they wearing?

• What is the expression on their face?

• What kind of energy do they give off?

• What truly matters to this version of yourself? Identify three core values.

• What in your current life is not aligned with your highest self? This could be habits, people, or beliefs that no longer serve you.

• Does your highest self have a message for you? Ask them any questions where you need guidance, and listen to their answers.

• Imagine your highest self standing in front of you. Take their hands in yours.

• Visualize their energy and everything you wish to integrate in your life flowing from their hands into yours. Feel their presence within you.

• Acknowledge that this version of you is already within you. It’s no one else but you.

• Thank them for their guidance, and thank yourself for who you are.

• Gently come back to the present moment by noticing your breath and the sensations in your body.

• I invite you to write down in your journal everything that came up during this practice.

If you didn’t get all the answers to your questions, don’t be discouraged. Everything unfolds at its own pace.
Simply stay connected to the energy of your highest self—dance as they would dance, eat what they would eat, wear what they would wear.
The more you do so, the more connected you’ll feel, and the answers will come naturally.
There’s nothing to force—remember, this is simply a journey of self-discovery.